A Nigerian lady has sparked widespread debate on social media after questioning a traditional practice that reportedly required a 21-year-old man to speak on behalf of his family during his sister’s marriage process instead of their widowed mother.

According to her, the incident was shared by a man on Instagram after he accompanied his friend to formally visit the family of the woman he intended to marry. Upon arriving, they met the woman’s widowed mother but were allegedly told to wait for her 21-year-old son, who was expected to represent the family as the “man of the house.”

Reacting to the story, the lady criticised the tradition, arguing that it unfairly sidelines women, especially mothers who have sacrificed to raise their children after the loss of a spouse.

In her words, she said:

“This woman paid the school fees of her kids and catered for them because their dad is late, and all of a sudden, she doesn’t have a mouth or a say in the marriage of her daughter. She has to wait for her son, who is 21 years old, to come and interface on behalf of the family. How does that make sense?”

She argued that a mother who single-handedly raised and provided for her children should not be prevented from speaking to visitors who came to seek her daughter’s hand in marriage.

The lady further criticised traditions that place men above women in family decisions, insisting that widowed mothers should have equal authority in matters concerning their children.

“There is no reason on earth why a parent, a mom, should not be able to speak to her visitors that came to marry her daughter. What kind of tradition are we practising? There is no reason why things like this should ever have to happen in the first place,” she added.

Her remarks have since generated mixed reactions online, with many social media users debating the balance between preserving cultural traditions and recognizing the role of widowed mothers in family decision-making.