Veteran actress Rita Edochie has said marriage should not be a competition between two women. Ever since actress Judy Austin filed a lawsuit against Rita Edochie, the veteran actress has not ceased to write cryptic messages on her social media pages, which many allege are targeted at Judy.
While saying in a recent post that marriage is an important institution, Rita wondered aloud why a woman would leave her husband’s house for another woman’s husband.

She said, “Marriage is too serious to be treated as a competition between two women. You left your husband for another woman’s husband and now you want society to celebrate you as his ‘wife’?

“No matter how many points you try to prove, the clear fact remains that we are not dummies. Every damn thing played out in our very own eyes.”
Rita said anybody who wants to end his or her marriage should follow the legal route.

“If the marriage has broken down, there is a legal process for ending it. This is why I struggle when someone abandons a legally recognised marriage because another married man has promised her a place in his life. ‘He loves me’ is not a divorce decree. ‘He calls me his wife’ does not automatically make her his legal wife. And ‘he promised to marry me’ does not dissolve the marriage he already has.

“If a man genuinely wants to marry another woman, the responsible thing is to first deal with his existing marriage according to the law.”
Rita said being a second wife is not an achievement, saying, “We also need to stop presenting the title of ‘second wife’ as though it is automatically an achievement. You did not necessarily win because a married man chose you. Another woman’s husband is not a trophy, and desperation is not love.

“If your own marriage is no longer working, seek counselling, seek proper legal advice and, if necessary, end the marriage properly. But do not abandon your legal security for another person’s promises.”

Rita said desperation can make women ignore all the red flags in a relationship.
She said, “Stop calling yourself a ‘second wife’ when the man has not legally divorced his first wife. Your feelings, his promises and your ignorance of the law do not make an invalid marriage valid!

“A man who has contracted a statutory marriage cannot simply decide that the marriage is over and move on to marry another woman under the same law. Until the first marriage is properly dissolved, it remains a subsisting marriage. Living apart, fighting, stopping communication or even having children with another woman does not automatically end it.”

While advising women who want to enter into a marriage with a man who has a former wife, Rita said the woman should be sure the previous marriage has ended.

“A man telling you that ‘my first wife is no longer my wife’ does not make it a legal fact. His family accepting you does not make it legal either. Even a grand wedding ceremony cannot simply erase an existing statutory marriage. A man’s promise is not a divorce decree.

“And please, do not argue with the law using emotions. It does not matter who he loves more, who he has been living with, or who he claims is his ‘real wife’. The law is concerned with the legal status of the existing marriage, not the story you have been told in private. Where the first statutory marriage is still subsisting, a subsequent statutory marriage can be void and may carry serious legal consequences. So before you accept the title of ‘second wife’, ask the question many people are too afraid to ask: Has the first marriage actually been dissolved by law?”

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