A Lagos-based woman shared an unusual encounter with an elderly man who controversially described dating as “√@pe.”

The discussion, which took place last week on Lagos Island, quickly gained attention due to the man’s unique perspective on relationships, consent, and marriage promises.

The man, a financial accountant who also drives for income, described dating as a transaction where one party benefits from another’s future under the guise of a promise..

A controversial perspective

“He said dating is consented √@pe,” she explained. “In the old days, when there were no records, people would √@pe because the lady couldn’t report it due to stigma. Now someone can say, ‘I want to marry you. I see a future with you,’ and start taking benefits of your future today.”

The woman said the man illustrated his point using a car analogy: “He told a story of selling a car to someone for 3 million naira, while also promising it to another buyer. The lesson, he said, is similar to dating—people promise something in the future but collect benefits in the present without intending to fulfil them later.”