A Nigerian woman, Ogechi Laura Amajuoyi, has opened up about her experience in marriage, revealing that she eventually felt she was treated merely as a baby-making machine by the family she married into.
According to Ogechi, she met her former husband in February 2016 and became pregnant about three months later. She said she did not know his age at the time or that he had previously been married and divorced.
She eventually married him and went on to have three children while pursuing her university education.
Woman Says She Went Through Three Pregnancies With Little Support
Ogechi claimed that she handled all three pregnancies largely without support from her husband or his family.
She said her first pregnancy happened while she was studying at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka (UNN), while the second occurred toward the end of her university studies and during preparations for the NYSC programme.
According to her, her third pregnancy came after an argument with her husband that resulted in her spending a night outside the home.
“One of the pains I carry to this day is the fact that I was nothing but a baby-making machine to the family I married into.
“I carried all three of my pregnancies alone. My first, I carried while I was still a student at UNN, tummy growing while I kept up with my regular school activities. It’s thanks to my mother that dropping out never became the answer.
“My second, I carried during my final months in UNN in the year 2018 and during NYSC preparations, the “compulsory” youth service program every Nigerian graduate goes through.
“My third, I was mostly just at home, and I found out I was pregnant the morning after a night I had slept outside, locked out of a place I was supposed to call home, after a fight with my husband.”
She Says Her Husband Was Rarely Present During Pregnancies
Ogechi further alleged that her husband provided little emotional or physical support throughout her pregnancies, labour and recovery.
She recalled that although he was present at the hospital during her first two deliveries, she felt he was more interested in leaving quickly to meet his friends.
“Three pregnancies. No husband rubbed my feet. No husband massaged my tummy. No husband showed up for any of it. I did every single one of them without a husband, physically and emotionally, from the nausea to the labor to the recovery.”
She also described seeing other men remain with their wives and newborn babies at the hospital, saying she wished her husband had shown the same level of care.
Woman Questions Mother-in-Law’s Decision to Name Her Children
Ogechi also recalled her disagreement with her former mother-in-law over the naming of her children.
She claimed that her ex-mother-in-law felt entitled to choose the names of the children she had carried and given birth to.
“And still, somebody else felt entitled to name the children I carried through all of that by myself.
“I say this because I still can’t explain, in any logical way, why my ex-mother-in-law believed it was her fundamental human right to name every child I carried in my own womb. Not a request. A right. As if my body did the carrying, alone, so her family could do the naming.”
She Recalls Alleged Affair Involving Her Ex-Husband
Ogechi also spoke about an alleged affair involving her former husband, claiming that when she complained to her mother-in-law, she did not feel her concerns were taken seriously.
She alleged that instead of holding her son accountable, her former mother-in-law told her about similar experiences in her own marriage.
“I complained to her about that affair. Her response wasn’t to hold her son accountable. She didn’t ask him a single question. Instead, she told me a story about how her own husband had done the exact same thing to her, as if that history was supposed to comfort me, or prepare me, or quiet me. It did none of those things.”
Ogechi Speaks on the Cycle of Marital Problems
Reflecting on her experience, Ogechi argued that tolerating unhealthy behaviour in marriage can sometimes contribute to similar patterns being passed down to the next generation.
“That’s my real takeaway from all of this. Women who spend their marriages absorbing the failures of irresponsible men aren’t just enduring something privately. They’re raising the next version of it.”
She further shared her view that children may benefit more from a peaceful home than from remaining in a toxic two-parent household.
“There has never been a point in my life where I believed a toxic two-parent household does more for a child than a peaceful one-parent household.”
Ogechi concluded her account by reflecting on the sacrifices she made during the marriage, saying she no longer considers them noble.
“My name is Ogechi Amajuoyi, and this is one of the sacrifices I carry that I no longer call noble.”