Vash Offo, a Nigerian woman, described how her best friend’s marriage to a doctor terminated as a result of her dominating husband.
Offo claims that the woman’s husband forbade her from visiting her parents, working night shifts, or even seeing her friends. Her parents also reside in Lagos.
Read her tweets below…
“Divorce rates are not even high enough in Nigeria. Women are going through shege. A lot of Nigerian men are unhinged. My best friend’s case is still shocking me. She was the life of the party in med school and an amazing entrepreneur.”
Got married and he stopped her from seeing her friends. He will reprimand her for even going to see her parents in the same Lagos . On the same Lagos island! she respected all that for the marriage to ‘work’.
He told her no night shifts. Medical doctors earn more money, working nights . It took her a while to get a job because most hospitals wanted doctors that could work nights. That affected her career.
She eventually got into post grad medical college after passing her exams. Literally chose a field that will allow her work just days and go back home to cater to her family. It was not enough for this useless man.
The last straw was locking her out because she attended a discussion class with her colleagues prior to her part 1 exams. He told her not to go for the discussion class. Something she needed to pass her exams. She came back and he had locked her out. That’s how the marriage ended.
Contrary to what y’all like to think, women are not divorcing men in Nigeria, enough!!! A lot of women are still putting up with so much rubbish. Believe it or not, a lot of women are suffering because of the shame of a marriage not working out.
If you see a divorced woman in Nigeria, biko applaud her. It must have taken a lot for her to decide to leave that marriage. A lot are still suffering. I will always be in awe of women that leave ugly marriages in Nigeria.
My friend’s dad actually told her, ‘if your husband wants you to stop visiting your parents house, respect him. He is your husband’ Her dad also said, ‘why are you even seeing your friends and going for weddings? Stay at home if that’s what he wants’ . Still it wasn’t enough.
We don’t talk enough about the loyalty that a lot of Nigerian fathers owe to the men their daughters are married to. They transfer the control they had as fathers to the husbands. It’s like women have no agency and are just property. Nigeria is WILD!
“We need to take away shame in Nigeria and I’m glad that the stigma that comes with being divorced, is being dealt with… but to be honest, just a tiny part of the surface has been scratched. Many more women are still putting up with a lot to just remain married.”